is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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