I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
