I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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