Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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