If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
