so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
