I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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