Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
