So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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