There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.