Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think I won the penis lottery.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
What's dad's email?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter