You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
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well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
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When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks