i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
