you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
