Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He did a backflip because drugs
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
