Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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