I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
