she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it was like his penis was on wheels.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
