Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
