is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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