but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
