Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
