the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i came on her dog
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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