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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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