found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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