the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
ttyl tear gas
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
