You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
