Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
