CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
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Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
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because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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