i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
