Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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