ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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