I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
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or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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