I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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