This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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