He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
