Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
