it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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