I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
