I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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