Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
