Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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