if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
This house was built for laser tag.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
