Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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