he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
