ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
