He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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