just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
