I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
