so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
