have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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