We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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