i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
