Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
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Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
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I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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