her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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