And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
