oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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