another moral hangover. fuck.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
