Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
