feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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