We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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