I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
