I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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